Resolving Interpersonal Conflicts
Conflict is part and parcel of most interpersonal relationships. As people form relationships or interact with one another, it is inevitable that sometimes, for good or bad reasons, disagreement and misunderstanding may arise. This is perhaps, largely due to different personal communication styles, particularly between men and women. Here is one famous quote that describes the differences of how men and women perceive speech -Linguist Deborah Tannen notes that, for women, “talk creates intimacy, but men live in a hierarchical world, where talk maintains independence and status.”
A common identified problem that exists in couple relationships is the failure to understand communication between opposite sexes. Often, our ability to communicate and express our true emotions without hurting anyone is put to many tests. In other words, is Emotional Quotient important to keep relationships working?
Let’s imagine this scenario:
Sally, an employee in a company came home feeling down as she was reprimanded by her boss for not meeting up to his expectation in terms of work performance. She went up to her boyfriend, Tim and poured out her anguish, hoping that he would lend her a listening ear and show sympathy towards her situation. However, Tim was not responsive and did not express care for her. Instead, he dismissed her problem and claimed that she was taking her boss’s comments as a personal attack. He told her not to make a big deal out of it.
As a result, Sally misunderstood Tim and interpreted what he said as an insult. But, this is not the case for Tim as he meant no harm. Soon after, the situation quickly escalated into a full blown fight which was not necessary at the start.
How should Sally and Tim have reacted in this situation to avoid a conflict?
What can they do to resolve the issue?
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, so do they see and hear things through different filters too? And when we begin to realise it, we should seek clarity with another by sharing the ‘distortions’ we experience. Therefore, how could it be done to bridge the gap between the sexes? I would like to hear from you as well!